Watching History Unfold (sort of)

1 03 2011

For many of you wondering what has become of our beloved hero I can say only this: I am in a small apartment in a state near the middle that is shaped like a kitchen implement. I have just managed to eek out two and half hours of sleep, my first since last Wednesday. I cannot describe to any of you what nearly five days awake (with no stimulant aid) is like. To be honest, other than the acute psychosis and the feeling of total lethargy, it’s kind of neat! Like living in a waking dream. In the evenings, L and I have been watching “The Tudors.”

As some of you may know I have a long relationship with English history, though to be sure my focus has tended to begin with the population collapse of the early fourteenth century and ends with the death of Henry V. Still, late¬†medieval England doesn’t really end until (in my opinion) the last vestiges of the old class, economic and cosmological orientations of the late medieval are usurped by the pre-industrial enlightenment of the mid seventeenth century. In other words the show is pretty good. It started slow, but grew on me.

And yet I have beefs. As I said before, I know less about the political realities of Tudor England than I would like, but I have a copy of the peerage. So let me say this: if you are looking for historical accuracy, this ain’t really your show. But really, isn’t historical fiction… just fiction. Below are my two favorite “fictions” in the show. And yes I know Henry was a good looking young man in his youth, but I think that by the end the show’s third season he was beginning the, ahem, ballooning, as it were. First Duke of Suffolk, Charles Brandon however, no no no. He was a hairy picture of rotundity from the get go.

Ah, pretty Henry, what does the sexy future hold....

NOOOO!!!! What did you do to yourself!!! Your body was a sexy temple, not a bloody garbage can!!!!!

Charles Brandon, 1st Duke of Suffolk, well-

Mr. Cavill, you must have had an easy time recreating the handsome first duke of Suffolk...

nooooo!!!! stab out my eyes, god nooooo!




One response

27 09 2013

There are many descriptions of young Henry being very tall and powerfully built, but I have to say, I don’t see handsome in any of the paintings. The Duke of Suffolk, no descriptions that I can find. The way people were painted back then has them all looking pretty much the same or at the very least, closely related, which may have been true. All of his wives seem very similar. I dare say, based on the paintings, if the names weren’t posted I would not be able to tell one from the other. This is also true for the men. They do look fat, but the style of dress may have added to the image of girth. Don’t you wish they would dig up some of the skulls, with two of the wives it would be a cinch, and do a casting to find out how they really did look?

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