Birdsnake-the motion picture

21 02 2010

In sterile government laboratory a sweating, terrified scientist runs through crowded florescent halls clutching a long printout sheet to his chest. The room he runs into is unlike the bleached lab. It is a room authority resides in- wood paneling, marble busts. View from across the desk. The viewer sees the scientist come gasping into the room, puts his cigar into a crystal ashtray next to a ‘no smoking’ sing on his desk. The scientist speaks breathlessly- “Sir, it… it’s worse than we feared. The trans mutagen worked, but our projections were  way off. The thing is… sir it’s too dangerous. We must engage T.C.P.’s now sir.

The man behind the desk- “Dr. Schlem, I appreciate your concern, but we have strict orders from Air Force brass. We are to proceed with the project.”

“But sir, the risk, my God sir… if one of them should ever escape!”

“That’s a risk I’m willing to take.”    Cue music.

Interior a lab full of birds and snakes in cages. An incubator containing five eggs sits in the middle of the room. The eggs begin to crack, hissing steam. The birds begin to screech in terror, the snakes are hissing and slithering in fear. Cue title- Birdsnake

Run....Fly... you can't escape... The Birdsnake!!

So this is less a post and more of a gift to a certain birdsnake fan. One day, when we storm the offices of  the (ahem) Sy-Fy network, it’ll get made. Actually, looking at the steady dribble of shite that they’re making these days this is academy award material.

Here’s to you Sy-Fy: The network who’s entire value is based on saying yes to Battlestar. Good luck milking the corpse!!!

Not the Science of Fiction. Ignore this post.




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